THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
He never asked with condemnation, at least to my knowledge. I can remember chuckling on occasion because I knew what he was trying to do when he asked me questions, probing into my mind to pull out the intentions and feelings so he could get to the heart of the issue.
In turn, I began to ask him questions which he welcomed! This mutual friendship was deepened by the questions we asked each other because each of us proved trustworthy to the other. This then allowed me to open up to him about my past and the things in my life I had only shared with two or three people. He also opened up about the dark corners in his past. This was the confessing part I talked about in the previous chapter.
We should never underestimate the power of the question in relationship. Questions are so much better than assumptions or even statements. Making a statement into someone’s life in relationship can hurt, be off-target, and cause damage. Asking questions, especially when said in context and with sincerity, have a way of opening up a relationship. It shows you are interested in the other person. It shows you have genuine concern for them, and you do not necessarily know the answer. It shows you are willing to walk through a life circumstance, discover, learn, and grow together.
Questions have a way of taking a shallow conversation into a deep-water dive where you can find answers you have always been looking for but could never see at the surface. As long as questions are present, relationships can continue to grow and develop. When questions cease in a relationship, it is only a matter of time before a separation begins to take place. We replace the questions with assumptions, implications, and doubt.
Listening
When Brian asked me a question, I didn’t have to guess if he was listening to the answer. He actively leaned in and listened to my response, not rushing the answer, and allowed me to take my time to prep my thoughts to respond. When I needed clarification, he asked the question in a different way, knowing that we all receive and interpret messages uniquely.
By listening, he asked another question about something I had just said. This told me that not only was he listening, but he picked up something in my response that required more depth and thought. His listening showed his brother-like love for me.
This is the best way to get to know someone, to know who they are and how they think. Questions have a wonderful way of bringing clarity to a relationship, purpose to a conversation, and opportunities for trust to be confirmed. Listening